The Scatterbrained Deist

I am the modern-day Renaissance woman, smart and creative. It may seem like I have no focus and I can't settle onto one thing, but why should I? I can watch a YouTube video and learn to crochet amigurumi, or put Havana twists in my hair. I could survive in the forest for a couple days at least and I could probably teach a class in... well, just give me something to learn. I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge, whether it be academic, creative, sexual, or spiritual. The journey is my destination. Don't try to tell me that I need to choose something to do. If I can do anything, why pick only one thing? That has always been the dilemma of my quarter-life crises. "What am I doing? Where am I going?" Well, I'm doing what I want to do and I'm going wherever that happens to take me. It's time to stop trying to live up to what you think your life "should" be like. There is no "should", there is only what is. I am the modern-day Renaissanc

Hi, my name is Ayse (Hi, Ayse)... and I'm a fixer. I've been reading psychology-type books and I learned that we basically end up at the same level of psychological health that our environmental family unit had (not really talking about genetics here). So to paint a picture of how I developed into the person I'm trying to grow out of, we have to look back to childhood. My childhood home was volatile, sort of like a dangerous chemistry experiment that is perfectly safe as long as no one sneezes. My dad had a temper, and it might be pertinent to point out that this was technically my step-dad. My biological father had issues also, but he and my mother divorced shortly after I was born. He didn't miss me much. So my dad came after and loved me and my mom and swept us away to military brat life... and he had a horrible temper. Most days things were fun and happy, but we never knew what exactly might set him off, so we were always on alert. He could come after any one of

So I've been doing a lot of reading over the last couple of days. I found this website, Madame Noire, that is sort of an African American version of TheFrisky. Sort of. I started reading the article because I was hoping to find some content that would disprove my theory that the Black community is pretty much overall, pretty sexually inhibited. I found nothing of the sort, unfortunately. What kept me reading the articles and the comments under them was much worse. Not only is our community full of prudes, but it seems that a lot of the men and women hate each other. I most certainly cannot say that this is true for all, but the number of comments I read that had Black men and women going back and forth about whose fault what was was just heartbreaking. A very common theme in the comments was centered around how many Black women are simply just "over" Black men and have decided to move on to other races. Or just as many complaining how many Black men don't having to of

So I became something of an Etsy.com addict for like two days (bad attention span). I didn't buy anything, but I'm sure I browsed through the entire Geekery section. I saw SO many things that made me squee with geeky delight. Nigel laughs at me, but it's just me. I've always been a nerd, but I never really felt ostracized for it so I've never felt any need to feel ashamed of my geekiness. DH wasn't as fortunate because he was a black boy growing up in a big city... not a good place to be a nerd. So, while he retains much of his nerdy ways, he's not as open about it as I am. Which makes me wonder what path our child will take... I think Nigel is determined for them to be secretively nerdy. But I think it's more important to be whoever you are and fuck the people that don't like it. If you don't care, they don't. ANYways, I've decided that I'll find something geeky that I like and post it on here to get reactions, opinions, whatev. For

Not me, of course. I have pretty much always been in love with love. Love didn't always love me, but that didn't change my mind. No, what I'm talking about is my Black American community. I was reading this article on being a college educated and single black woman. It's a story that I find sad by a woman that claims she is comfortable with her position. She also says that she fears it may be permanent, two statements that seem to be contradictory. I was telling my husband about it and he says it's the whole black community. All you have to do is look on Facebook or Twitter to see how most black people feel about relationships. It wasn't always this way, was it? What happened to our sense of romance and need to be closer to another human being? I have several ideas and opinions (don't I always?). I will offer what I think is women's problem and ask my husband for his point of view. From what I've observed in personal relationships with single bla

Since my last post I've been doing lots of research into the home daycare option. So far, I like what I see. I'm a little more worried about the amount of money it might take to start up the business, but I have ideas that could help me save money and maybe even make more. From what I've learned about starting a business, it is easiest to get customers when you find a niche, something to specialize in that has a very targeted market. My potential niche? Green. Or about as green as a licensed daycare can be. I decided a few months ago that I want to use cloth diapers with my own children. My family thinks I'm nuts, but I don't mind doing laundry and I would like to make my carbon footprint smaller in ways that I'm willing to. And looking online I've only been able to find one daycare center in Colorado Springs that is cloth diaper friendly. That would give me an advantage. I have the advantage of experience in an accredited military child development center.