The Scatterbrained Deist

So I've been doing a lot of reading over the last couple of days. I found this website, Madame Noire, that is sort of an African American version of TheFrisky. Sort of. I started reading the article because I was hoping to find some content that would disprove my theory that the Black community is pretty much overall, pretty sexually inhibited. I found nothing of the sort, unfortunately. What kept me reading the articles and the comments under them was much worse. Not only is our community full of prudes, but it seems that a lot of the men and women hate each other. I most certainly cannot say that this is true for all, but the number of comments I read that had Black men and women going back and forth about whose fault what was was just heartbreaking. A very common theme in the comments was centered around how many Black women are simply just "over" Black men and have decided to move on to other races. Or just as many complaining how many Black men don't having to of

So I became something of an Etsy.com addict for like two days (bad attention span). I didn't buy anything, but I'm sure I browsed through the entire Geekery section. I saw SO many things that made me squee with geeky delight. Nigel laughs at me, but it's just me. I've always been a nerd, but I never really felt ostracized for it so I've never felt any need to feel ashamed of my geekiness. DH wasn't as fortunate because he was a black boy growing up in a big city... not a good place to be a nerd. So, while he retains much of his nerdy ways, he's not as open about it as I am. Which makes me wonder what path our child will take... I think Nigel is determined for them to be secretively nerdy. But I think it's more important to be whoever you are and fuck the people that don't like it. If you don't care, they don't. ANYways, I've decided that I'll find something geeky that I like and post it on here to get reactions, opinions, whatev. For

Not me, of course. I have pretty much always been in love with love. Love didn't always love me, but that didn't change my mind. No, what I'm talking about is my Black American community. I was reading this article on being a college educated and single black woman. It's a story that I find sad by a woman that claims she is comfortable with her position. She also says that she fears it may be permanent, two statements that seem to be contradictory. I was telling my husband about it and he says it's the whole black community. All you have to do is look on Facebook or Twitter to see how most black people feel about relationships. It wasn't always this way, was it? What happened to our sense of romance and need to be closer to another human being? I have several ideas and opinions (don't I always?). I will offer what I think is women's problem and ask my husband for his point of view. From what I've observed in personal relationships with single bla

Since my last post I've been doing lots of research into the home daycare option. So far, I like what I see. I'm a little more worried about the amount of money it might take to start up the business, but I have ideas that could help me save money and maybe even make more. From what I've learned about starting a business, it is easiest to get customers when you find a niche, something to specialize in that has a very targeted market. My potential niche? Green. Or about as green as a licensed daycare can be. I decided a few months ago that I want to use cloth diapers with my own children. My family thinks I'm nuts, but I don't mind doing laundry and I would like to make my carbon footprint smaller in ways that I'm willing to. And looking online I've only been able to find one daycare center in Colorado Springs that is cloth diaper friendly. That would give me an advantage. I have the advantage of experience in an accredited military child development center.

There are many things that are very important to me in regards to how I want my children to grow up, but at the top of my list is being able to be at home with them when they are young. I know, in this day and age and hard economic times, it is a lot to ask (unless we win the lottery or something), but my mom stayed at home with me and my little sister until she was in kindergarten. And even then, my mom only had a part time job until my sister was in high school when she started working full time. I am not even asking for that. I want to work. I'm not the kind of person that can spend money without having made some myself. I just want to have a way to work at home. I have an entrepreneurial spirit so a home-based business seems like the best option. I can already feel the eyerolling going on. What would I do? Why would I want to be stuck in my house all day? Well I would want to be home because that's where my babies would be. I work at a child development center, but I really

Yay! I came back to write another post before a month went by! I try to think of this as therapy, but I do still censor myself for fear of who might read it. But anyways, this is not a secret post. Last time I told you that DH (aka Gelly, he hates that) said we could start TTC if he gets promoted in August and that is his only criteria (whoo hoo! *fingers crossed*). I may or may not have told you that we've had our kids' names picked out almost since we got married (Aidan for boy, Raine for girl; I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this). I also may or may not have mentioned that I work at a child development center and am currently working on my own promotion (whoo hoo! with much less enthusiasm). Well, because I am what we call a "floater", I can be in any room depending on who called out or is on vacation. As a result, and because I'm just good at my job and have a memory like an elephant, I know every kid in the center and to tell you the truth, the three A

First off, I know, I know. I am horrible at blogging. Maybe I need to make a reminder in my phone to write a new post every week. I have to start forming good habits... Anyways... what am I so excited about you ask? Baby fever! But it's not really just me this time. Nigel has agreed that we can start trying to conceive if he gets promoted. We won't find out until August, but I am just squirming in my seat trying to control myself. I asked my husband if he had a list of things he wanted to do before we had a baby and he said no, he doesn't think of babies that way. When I asked for clarification, he said that he doesn't really believe that babies prevent you from doing stuff that you want to do. I tend to agree with him. I feel bad for people that think of having children as a burden and a hindrance to their fun life. And I greatly respect those that include their kids in the things they find fun (of course I'm not talking drinking and partying hard). Around here in

I was talking to Nigel and doing a little reading around the all-knowing and all-powerful Internet (All Hail). And I remembered an idea that I had back when I was in high school. I loved magazines, but I never subscribed to any because there wasn't enough in any of them that I could truly relate to. So I came up with the idea of starting a magazine for black teen girls. My mom thought it was a good idea, but like every idea I come up with, I didn't follow through. I couldn't think of a good name. But as I was reading an article on things that guys don't understand about women and reading some of the things off to my husband, he commented on some stuff that he doesn't understand. We realized that the concerns that he had that were not on the list were related to black women. I thought that maybe I should start up a site where black people could read about sexual and relationship concerns that they could relate to. Then I remembered my old idea about a magazine for b

Ok, that might be a little harsh on myself. I do know I am beautiful (even if there are some things I'd like to change) and I have a sense of style (I just don't really have any actual style). So sometimes on our weekly constitutionals to Borders or Barnes and Noble, I'll grab a beauty or style manual and actually learn something! My makeup regimen (if you could call it that) consists of applying eyeliner and/or mascara every blue moon... and that's being generous. I don't even own any cream foundation. I do have a Bare Minerals kit that I bought years ago before I even met my husband and it's just a one-size-fits-all starter kit for the melanin-blessed. I have a pot of powder blush by Bare Minerals also and the only brushes I have are the two that came with that kit. I grab cheap eye shadow every now and then and never use it. It doesn't help that every time I put makeup on my husband gives me the "ugh, are you wearing makeup?" comment. I am ver

I am a terrible blogger. I'm hoping to get better at it and use it as some sort of anxiety therapy. Anyways... I have, of late, been stricken with baby fever. I work at a child development center and love the babies and toddlers (preschoolers, not so much, but I'm sure I'd love my own). I talked with my aunt and she acted as a dosage of Motrin to my fever. I knew it would subside eventually anyway, but she was very helpful. I have several reasons for wanting to get pregnant now, some good, some.... not so good. I'm comfortable with children. I want to have one of my own to raise and teach and show the world. My friends are starting to get pregnant (the not-so-good reason). My husband and I agree on most parenting tactics. I've been looking into the attachment parenting discipline. I'm fascinated, but I think sometimes people take it a little too far. I do want to breastfeed without having to supplement with formula. I know it's not as easy as one would hope

Welcome, everyone to The Scatterbrained Deist. My plan for this blog is for it to serve as my public journal, chronicling my random, constant changing interests, thoughts and wants. So why "The Scatterbrained Deist"? In order to adequately explain, I must introduce myself. I am Ayse, that's pronounced "eye-sha" or just "Ice" to most of my friends and associates and even some of my family call me "Ice" playfully. I am 23 right now and will be 24 August 1st. I have been married for two years to Nigel, my best friend and best lover :). I am an Army brat, and my husband is in the military as well. We are currently stationed in Colorado and have not really decided firmly if we are going to stay here permanently. It's either here or Raleigh, my college town, or one of them... That's another thing about me. I haven't finished college. I have about 60 credits towards a Bachelor's Degree in nothing and I am currently working on an Asso